It was a long hard-pressed season, and a lead was pursued given the remaining time, energy, and cornered situations. There is no best or worst decision, after all the contemplation and perspectives available around. You just have to live with it. But as upbeat as you stood by, and as unfavorable as the reality is, the outcome is just as the same as the season was. The only difference at the moment is, your heart is smashed. Ironically, it was a double or triple shots of disappointments. All sorts of commotions check in & out, burst of retaliation, self-reassuring, reflection, recovery, repeats, underpinning, distraction, repeats, confusion, disturbance, and helplessness over some time. You picked up yesterday with a standing spirit, and today you woke up with a discouraged heart and memories still. The situation has to be dealt with for a resolution at some point of time.
Matter of the Heart
You remember that what, whom, how, …all the w’s you commit your heart to will determine your walk in life. And to maintain your heart from getting stranded in an emotional turmoil and hence interferes sanity, you have to keep your heart deposited with God. Because He would take care of you and restore you from your heartache. That’s the saying.
So, now is the moment. You resorted to question your worth and qualifications. You have come to a current resolution that you are worth and qualified as where you are right now. The people suggested so. The feedbacks, replies and signals delivered through the electronics and systems suggested so. Your papers and assets and records suggested so. Maybe, that’s why you doubt yourself so?
Yet, an equal and standing truth that sustains you is you are not defined by those bars. God saw your form even before you existed. He molded you in your mother’s womb, and had never lost sight of you up until this day. He even knows the number of your hairs. (Ps. 139:13-18; Matt 10:30) Consider this:
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air: They do not sow or reap or gather into barns—and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his lifespan?
And why do you worry about clothes? Consider how the lilies of the field grow: They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his glory was adorned like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
— Matt 6:25-30
After all the bars the world has set up in front of you today, God says you are already loved and accepted, before you have done anything in order to meet the bars. The very disappointments brought to your attention were only classroom assignments, that are yet to be worked through for the missing puzzle piece. When you take a look at the picture coming together, you will find that you have actually accumulated some skills and backgrounds that are particularly useful for some point of time. Along the road, growth continues with learning and giving.
At some point, you might just realize, that it’s not about who you are, but for what God had done in your life and, not about what you have done, but for who God is in your life.
(Playlist) Matter of the Heart